Culture and Lifestyle History and Traditions The Proper Flowers To Leave On A Gravestone—And What They Mean Flowers that share your sentiments. By Valerie Fraser Luesse Valerie Fraser Luesse Valerie Fraser Luesse has been affiliated with Southern Living and its parent company since 1988. She has written some 30 Southern Journal essays for the magazine and extensively covered the unique cultural pockets of the South, including Acadian Louisiana, the Mississippi Delta, South Florida, and the Outer Banks of North Carolina. She released her fourth Southern novel with Revell in 2021. Southern Living's editorial guidelines Updated on April 3, 2023 Close The white lily is frequently used as a sympathy flower. Photo: Zelma Brezinska/EyeEm/Getty Images Leaving flowers on the graves of loved ones is a special practice. We tend to the graves of those we've lost with flower arrangements we think they would have liked or flowers that we know were their favorites. It's a meaningful way to honor those who've passed, but there is also a special significance to the flowers we leave. Every plant has a history and symbolic meanings that convey something more profound. Many signify themes or emotions connected to affection, faith, or loss. Flowers can represent feelings from sorrow and regret to pride and devotion. They can recognize the sacrifice of a deceased veteran or admiration for a lost friend. The practice of leaving flowers at gravesites dates back thousands of years to ancient cultures worldwide. But many meanings we associate with flowers today were popularized during Victorian times. Flowers carved onto gravestones also had special meaning—A pair of intertwined roses demonstrated the strong bond of a couple, while a broken blossom indicated a life lost too soon. So before paying tribute to a gravesite or sending flowers to a funeral, learn about the flower's symbolism to help you choose the best one for the situation. As with anything, there are etiquette considerations to remember when sending funeral flowers. "There are some situations when flowers are not appropriate," said Diane Gottsman, an international etiquette expert, author, and founder of the Protocol School of Texas. "Make sure it does not conflict with a custom or a religious tradition. Sometimes, people are allergic or sensitive to a particular scent. Most often, flowers are a lovely and most appropriate gesture." After choosing your flowers, finding the right words to convey your sympathy in a card can be challenging. Our editors have compiled an extensive list of sympathy messages you can include in your card with flowers for a funeral. Read on to learn some of the symbolic meanings of favored plants and flowers, and spend time thinking about how to share just the right message with the arrangement you send. Funeral And Gravestone Flower Symbolism Amaryllis: beauty, determination, pride Anemone: protection, anticipation, and sacrifice Aster: patience, love, and wisdom Blue iris: hope and faith Calla lily: faith, purity, and holiness Camellia: love and devotion Camellia. Linda Burgess/Getty Images Chamomile: patience and fidelity Chrysanthemum: white chrysanthemums can represent sorrow or devotion; meaning varies from culture to culture Cornflower: hope Crimson rose: mourning and sorrow Daffodil: rebirth and hope Daisy: innocence, purity, and happiness Fern: sincerity and humility Forget-me-not: remembrance Gardenia: purity and sweetness Gladiolus: strength and integrity, remembrance and honor Hyacinth: forgiveness and devotion Hyacinth. Garden Photo World/Georgianna Lane/Getty Images Hydrangea: honesty and gratitude, amends and understanding Ivy: loyalty, faithfulness, friendship Larkspur: first love, openheartedness Lavender: devotion, admiration, and beauty Lilac: innocence, tranquility, and charity Lily: purity and beauty Lily-of-the-valley: chastity and sweetness Magnolia: nobility, endurance, perseverance Marigold: grief and remembrance; associated with Day of the Dead Morning glory: affection and friendship Orchid: love, beauty, and strength Pansy: sincerity and thoughtfulness Peony: honor and compassion Pink carnation or rose: appreciation Poppy: consolation and remembrance; connected specifically to the remembrance of World War I Purple iris: wisdom and royalty Ranunculus: charm Rosemary: remembrance; the use of this herb dates back to burial practices in ancient Egypt and Rome Red carnation or rose: love and affection; a dark red rose symbolizes grief and sorrow Roses. Garden Photo World/Georgianna Lane/Getty Images Rue: sorrow and repentance Sunflower: adoration and loyalty Tulip: confidence, affection, and enduring love Yellow carnation or rose: friendship and gratitude White iris: purity and faith White carnation or rose: purity, innocence, and sympathy Violet: devotion, faithfulness, and friendship Zinnia: friendship, remembrance, and goodness What are your most-loved flowers? Do you have special arrangements for the graves of loved ones who have passed? Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Tell us why! Other Submit