5 Secrets Everyone Should Know Before Planning A Trip With Mom

For all of my 37 years, my Mom has been my best friend. During my diva-like era in junior high, I probably wouldn’t have admitted that. But regardless of all the eye rolls I gave her when I was embarrassed by her quoting pop songs or critiquing my fashion choices, I’ve always loved, respected, and admired her beyond measure. She’s the person I call immediately after a painful break-up, and the one on speed dial any time I have a piece of good news to celebrate.

Travel has been a passion of mine since Mom took me on my first trip abroad when I was 21. To return the favor at long last after the trip to Tanzania that she took me on 16 years ago—and as a tiny token of gratitude for her unwavering support and love—I decided it was time to plan a mother-daughter getaway. While I can’t speak for Mom, after the 5 days we spent together at Southall Farm & Inn, I’ve never felt closer to her. 

At the end of our trip, as we hugged and she melted into my arms, I realized that the secret sauce to well-spent time together was a well-planned vacation. If you have any mother-daughter trips (or excursions with your father, mother-like figure, grandparent, or otherwise) on the horizon, here are a few seemingly small details that made a major difference in ensuring a comfortable and memorable bonding experience.

Consider the Commute

I’m one of the odd travelers who not-so-secretly loves the airport. Sure, I’d rather not stay there for hours longer than scheduled, but there’s something inspiring about being surrounded by individuals on the cusp of adventure. Plus, after taking 44 flights last year and 30 this year already, the airport is starting to feel like a second home.

Mom, however, finds the entire airport process to be stressful and draining. So when considering where to head for this mother-daughter vacation, we decided it should be within range of a direct flight for us both. Beyond being a single flight away, our destination, Nashville, earned bonus points for being an easy-to-navigate airport. Before you select your hotel, think about how you’ll get there—and if there’s an easier, breezier way to whisk Mom away.

Choose Lodging She’ll Love

With new resorts, hotels, bed-and-breakfasts, and glamping spots opening around the South each passing month, the task of choosing just one place to stay can become daunting. My solution: Seeking out a hotel that nods to Mom’s childhood, and, if possible, her current interests. My Mom grew up on a farm, and her retirement passion project is transforming part of her backyard into native plant gardens. With Southall Farm & Inn’s focus on bees (they have 7 million!), verdant native prairie land, greenhouse, and in-ground farming program, the 325-acre Franklin, Tennessee property felt like the perfect fit.

Brainstorm Potential "Firsts"

My Mom has also taught me everything from how to read to how to bake and garden. (I can only wish to have half the green thumb she has!) She also made that first international trip possible. So it was fun to turn the tables to contemplate a “first,” or a few, for her.

Some Southall features totally fit the bill, and that led to a few of the outing’s most memorable moments: Sharing room service (which we enjoyed while playing rounds of Yahtzee), taking part in a soothing sound bath, and visiting the spa to indulge in a hot stone massage.

Limit the Small Talk

This mother-daughter trip was a dual mission: To reciprocate all the TLC she has shown me and to bond in an even deeper way. Goal number one was achieved simply by booking and enjoying the trip together. Goal two was something that would take a bit more intention.

To help inspire us to eventually shift past the small talk and immerse ourselves in honest, insightful conversations, I pulled up the 36 Questions for Increasing Closeness. (You might also know these as the “36 questions that lead to love,” but they work for sparking deep discussions between individuals, whether you’re partners, parents, or pals.) The queries start light and grow increasingly more intimate, and by the end of our 5-day trip, I knew what my Mom would save in a fire, am privy to her most treasured and terrifying memories, and have confirmed what she loves most about me—and vice versa.

Save Space for Spontaneity 

This isn’t to say that the entirety of the trip was serious. Sprinkled between our enlightening exchanges, our nature strolls, and our spa sessions, we had several slots of blank space in our schedule to fill (or leave empty) as we desired.

Since we weren’t being booked every hour, as Mom and I tend to do at home, we were able to be more intuitive and explore more of historic and charming Franklin, Tennessee. An open afternoon allowed us to wander through bookstores and art galleries. We were able to swoon over our surroundings as I drove us down the Natchez Trace Parkway (one of the most beautiful drives in the South), and got to swing by Sweethaven and ask, “Ice cream for lunch?”