9 Things Good Hosts Don't Bother Doing—And Neither Should You

The road to being a good host is riddled with non-negotiable things to do before company arrives, and it can seem like the list goes on and on. However, there's no reason to let the prep work and etiquette rules overtake the enjoyment of hosting. The goal is to be prepared, but not overly stressed. Therefore, being a great host is not only about how clean and decluttered your home is or how many drink options there are, but also being able to be present with your guests and helping the good times keep flowing. A relaxed host is the best kind, so while you certainly should still prioritize checking off your pre-party to-do list, don't worry about things that don't really matter in the grand scheme.

Here are 9 things that a good host wouldn't bother doing, and neither should you.

Deep-Cleaning the Whole House

There’s absolutely no reason to deep-clean every room, nook, and cranny of your house before hosting guests. Sure, it is easy to get distracted while readying the house. Don’t let yourself get so focused on the junk drawer or other areas that guests will most likely have no interaction with, but rather check off your broader, most important to-do list items and give yourself extra time for finishing touches. Additionally, you can plan to face these problems sooner rather than later so that you have don’t worry about it while hosting. 

Cooking Everything From Scratch

While Southern hosts are partial to family recipes and homemade appetizers like classic deviled eggs, cocktail meatballs, and of course pimiento cheese, there are times when it’s necessary to rely on ready-made food and snacks. Don’t feel badly about bulking up your spread with dips such as hummus or Texas Caviar, just make sure to serve any store-bought items in real serveware, rather than whatever it came in from the grocery store. It makes all the difference, and your guests won’t even notice. 

Sweating the Small Stuff

Relaxing is the thing that Southern hosts forget to do the most. If you’re calm and prepared, you can take on anything that your party throws at you, from unexpected guests to a spilled glass of wine. Of course, feel free to refill anything needed throughout the night, such as cocktail napkins or snacks, but don’t stress about picking up every crumb or washing dishes when you should be enjoying yourself. 

Showcasing Your Fanciest Things

It’s natural to love showing off prized glassware, china, and art, but it’s certainly not worth spending a whole party worrying if someone is going to pick up or drop your grandmother’s crystal decanter rather than enjoying the event. Basically, if guests aren’t allowed to touch it, it probably shouldn’t be set out. For smaller gatherings or dinner parties, you can generally display your beloved items with no worry, but for larger guest lists, it’s better to be safe. 

Making Every Drink

It’s one of the cardinal hosting rules to always offer a beverage to guests, whether it be a sweet tea or cocktail depending on the occasion. However, if you aim to be the sole person fixing and refilling drinks while hosting, you’ll never have time to do anything else or enjoy! Feel free to set up a drink space with all the accouterments, from glassware to drink options to even a cooler, that guests can help themselves to. After offering or fixing the first beverage for guests, you can relinquish some responsibility. A hosting trick is to pre-batch a punch bowl or house cocktail ahead of time to make it extra easy for people to help themselves. 

Overly Apologizing

It’s a running joke amongst those from the South that we’ll apologize for doing nothing at all, and hosts definitely fall into the trap of overly apologizing for every little thing, most of which don’t need apologizing for. Avoid phrases such as “Sorry it’s such a mess in here!” Firstly, a Southerner’s definition of “mess” is usually nothing anyone would even notice. Your guests, in fact, don’t care that there is a stack of magazines on the coffee table! Feel confident in your preparation and hosting skills, and you should feel good to graciously accept any thanks for hosting.

Stressing Until the Last Minute

Before welcoming company, don’t try to pack tasks until the moment that guests walk in the door, because something always inevitably comes up or you might risk burning yourself out before guests even arrive. Do your best to be prepared enough to allow yourself to pause for a moment and take a breath. Fix your lipstick, light a candle, sit down, or pour a glass of wine. Take a moment to relax before all of the hustle and bustle. It will always be worth starting to get ready a bit earlier or prepping ahead of time. 

Doing Everything Yourself

While not every host necessarily wants guests rummaging through the cleaning supply closet or loading the dishwasher in a different way, you can happily accept any help offered from trusted friends or family, including bringing food, cleaning up, supplementing supplies, or planning. Hosting is stressful as it is, so don’t put extra pressure on yourself if you do not need to. 

Sending Out Paper Invitations

This might be a controversial one, but while Southerners will always love an old-school paper invitation for more formal events, gone are the days that it is required for all events or even every formal event, for that matter. While paper invitations are always a nice touch, digital invitations are an eco-friendly, less stressful option that also makes for easy RSVPing and guest list updating.